Posts from the West Coast

We're Moving!

2007-02-27T08:22:00.000-08:00

...Our blog, that is!

You can now find your favourite bloggers at: http://peteandchels.wordpress.com

Update your favourite links, your bloglines, your blog roll, you name it. It's painless and it will be worth it, we promise!

Byte-sized Babble

2007-02-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

I think that the series finale of the OC would have been better had they played #15 on Sufjan Stevens' Illinoise. It would have made the cheese-fest less cheesy and more hopeful. That's what I think.

I listened to Sufjan on the way to church this morning. Eva fell asleep in the back seat and we were early so I headed up Mt. Tolmie. It was pretty clear this morning, you could see downtown really well, and the sun was shining on the mountains as they ripped the sky in half. I live in a truly beautiful city. I don't want to ever take that for granted... he gives and takes away.

Also I'm thankful that my fridge is working and my freezer, and the furnace, and I have a wood burning stove that keeps me nice and warm too. But the batteries died in my remote, so there's something to complain about. Tim knows what I'm talkin' about.

Anyway, I have a lot to say, but not right now. I always have things I want to say on here but it never seems like a good time. Mostly because I don't have a lot of time to say it how I want to. So for now, I'm babbling. Telling you a bunch of random things. Talking about the OC and my appliances.

I have a George Foreman grill that I never use. Do you want it, Tim?

The Baby Whisperer

2007-02-24T21:25:00.000-08:00

Well, friends, I've come to a decision.

I'm giving up "The Baby Whisperer".

Have any of you read that book?

If the Baby Whisperer works for you, that is great. It just doesn't work for me. It only messed me up. Shook my confidence. Stole away my joy. And for some reason, I kept returning to its methods like an abused puppy... sure that I could make it work, confident that The Baby Whisperer was the ultimate authority.

I have since decided against it. I will no longer refer to it. And I will not recommend it. I am not going to force Eva to fit into some Western routine. I am not going to deny her needs to make things more convenient for myself. I am holding her when she needs holding, rocking her when she needs rocking, feeding her when she needs feeding, and putting her down when it is time to put her down. I am trusting in my instincts. I have never met any adults that still need to be rocked to sleep or still need to be held by their parents. Until just very recently there were no "baby books" to learn from. And everyone lived.

Dr. Sears asks, "if babies can't have needs, then who can?" Our babies are only our babies for so long. I'm not saying I'm going in the total opposite direction and that I'm going to spoil her and give into everything that she wants. But seriously. She's 2 months old.

Since I decided to relinquish the BW, Eva and I have been living in harmony together. I have felt so happy being a mother. I can't stop giving her little kisses and telling her how much I love her.

But we miss Daddy, who is away skiing this weekend.

eva sleeps in her swing!

2007-02-20T11:43:00.001-08:00

eva sleeps in her swing!, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

This is the first time that she has done this and I enjoyed it very much.

2007-02-19T21:25:00.000-08:00

I'm having trouble dying to myself these days.

For a long time now I've wanted to rent the movie Magnolia. I had already seen it a few times and I remembered really liking it. Peter had never seen it and I had decided that he should, due to the fact that I remembered liking it and that there were so many good actors and actresses in the film. But every time that we tried to rent it, it was already rented. Finally, yesterday we were able to pick it up, and this afternoon we watched it.

Well...

part of it.

About half way through, I was so sick of it that I had to turn it off.

I guess I liked it when I was living in a different time, a different world.

I feel that world calling me lately, especially now that I have acquired a new proverbial hat to wear: mother. There have been many times in the past 8 weeks that I have taken a step back in disbelief. Disbelief that I am a mother, disbelief that I live in Victoria, that I am married, that I am a PW (pastor's wife), that I believe in God and try to live for him. Those are a lot of hats. We all have them. But lately, mine are feeling a bit heavy.

Mostly, it's the mother hat. I'm sure that's to be expected. But it seems like I'm not fully ready to dive into the deep end, if you know what I mean. It's like I want Eva to fit into my life instead of being willing to give up mine to meet her needs. I don't want you getting the wrong idea, I love the kid to bits. I don't regret anything. I'm not wishing this all to go away or anything like that. I guess I just feel a little weighed down by the sudden demands that I need to fulfill on a 24-hour basis. I guess I just don't really want to sometimes. I guess that's probably normal.

Motherhood is very missional. Any other "mission" work that I've done it has seemed as though I can die to myself for part of the day, and then go home and live for myself the rest of the time. But now there is no escaping God's call for my life. It is 100% in my face. I need to die to my selfish desires every day, all day long. Probably for the rest of my life.

It's not a bad thing.

It's just hard is all.

At least for me.

So Magnolia sits by my DVD player, unwatched. I'm remembering other hats that I have worn. I'm leaving them behind. I'm pressing on toward the goal.

And getting very little sleep while I do it.

saturday

2007-02-17T13:08:00.001-08:00

the isle of catan, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

Well the day is here. It's our last day with Keri-Lyn & Alvaro. We are really going to miss them a lot. There have been a lot of laughs. And farts. But more laughs than farts, so that's good.

Yesterday the boys went golfing and Keri-Lyn, Eva, and I hung out on the beach at Cordova Bay for a while. Then we went shopping and then back to pick up the guys. Pete apparently had his best game of the year and is hoping to beat his dad the next time they play. We went downtown to Cafe Mexico. The music there was really loud and intrusive and Alvaro said that he'd never heard that kind of music in Mexico before. He said he couldn't even understand it. We had some good food. Then we came back to our house and Peter and I introduced them to the game Settlers of Catan. I know that Tim knows about this game, but for those of you who don't, you should find out, because it's pretty great.

After that, Eva had one of her best nights of sleep to date and today we went over to Kirk & Vivian's. Now it is so gorgeous out that we are going to move our table out onto the patio and play Settlers outside.

By the way, means is great.

Oh and one more thing, Mark has a blog too.

2007-02-15T15:18:00.000-08:00

Click to see more photos.

The Latest Bloggers

2007-02-14T16:47:00.000-08:00

Please welcome Keri-Lyn & Alvaro to the blogging community!

mum num yum yum

2007-02-12T18:42:00.001-08:00

Today I sat in the car and fed Eva in the inner harbour while Pete, Keri-Lyn & Alvaro walked around. I listened to some Sufjan. Leave it to Sufjan to inspire you. I was in quite the photographic mood, but I was stuck. Someday though. Someday.

Keri-Lyn & Alvaro got here on Saturday and we love them. We have been having a lot of fun. And its nice to have people to help take care of Eva. She loves them too. Tonight we are having a night in front of the television. The Hills, two hours of 24 and then CSI Miami. We are pretty much losers.

We had a doctor's appointment today. Eva now weighs 11 lbs and 5 oz. We all placed bets beforehand and Alvaro won. He is so Mexican.

It's true, he is. Keri-Lyn says that it's my blog and I can say what I want to about Alvaro.

more new pictures on flickr

2007-02-12T15:57:00.001-08:00

sleeping in the car, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

Mother's Helper

2007-02-11T15:26:00.000-08:00

If I were rich I would totally get a nanny.

She could do my dishes while I enjoy my little girl. She could clean my house while I go out walking. She could take care of Eva while I have a nap or stay up to date with the blogging community. She could tell me that I'm beautiful even on the worst days. Maybe she'd even be a personal masseuse. Or have magic breasts and she could feed Eva in the night sometimes. I say sometimes because I don't want her taking over. She is just the nanny.

I'm just saying I can understand why people have them, that's all.

dear fellow photobuffs

2007-02-10T07:49:00.000-08:00

"At Photokina last September Hasselblad launched their '48 mm Full-Frame DSLR camera system' the H3D. At the time there were two models, the 22 and 39 megapixels, Hasselblad has now announced a 31 megpixel option; the H3D-31. Unlike the 22 and 39 megapixel cameras the 31 megapixel unit isn't quite "Full-Frame 48mm" as its sensor measures 44x33mm, however it does surpass them in another respect; it uses microlenses to improve fill factor and gain a stop of sensitivity; now up to ISO 800. Unless you win the lottery the H3D-31 is unlikely to be replacing your Digital Rebel as it's priced at US$ 24,995." Click here if you want to read more.

New pictures...

2007-02-09T10:52:00.001-08:00

smiles, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

Click here to see more.

Velvet Elvis

2007-02-05T18:48:00.000-08:00

"The point of the cross isn't forgiveness. Forgiveness leads to something much bigger: restoration. God isn't just interested in the covering over of our sins. God wants to make us into the people we were originally created to be. It is not just the remoal of what's being held against us; it is God pulling us into the people he originally had in mind when he made us. This restoration is why Jesus always orients his message around becoming the kind of people who are generous and loving and compassionate. The goal here isn't simply to not sin. Our purpose is to increase the shalom in this world, which is why approaches to the Christian faith that deal solely with not sinning always fail. They aim at the wrong thing. It is not about what you don't do. The point is becoming more and more the kind of people God had in mind when we were first created.

It is one thing to be forgiven; it is another thing to become more and more and more and more the person God made you to be.

...

It is one thing to be saved. To believe in Jesus. It is another thing to be healed. It is possible to be saved and miserable. It is possible to be saved and not be a healthy, whole, life-giving person. It is possible for the cross to have done something for a person but not in them."

- from Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell

Home

2007-02-04T18:40:00.000-08:00

So this weekend was Family Camp at Camp Imadene. This weekend was our first weekend trip with Eva. She did great. She didn't enjoy the car ride up, but she was in an excellent mood all weekend.

One thing that I have really come to enjoy is witnessing the joy that Eva brings to people when they hold her. I watched so many people from our church family light up with joy, just from cradling her in their arms. It's amazing. I love being able to be a part of it and to share with them the joy that she brings me every day.

We are home and I am tired, of course.

Now for some questions for some mothers out there:

1) Have you ever used a breast pump before, and what kind? What worked for you? I just got one and so far, I haven't had the best of luck... I only was able to pump 2.5 oz.

2) What kind of "routines" did you have with your newborns? Did you rock them to sleep? Did they nap in their cribs or did you hold them? I've been reading "The Baby Whisperer" and the books have been very informative and helpful, but there are some things that I question and I'm curious about. For example, if you do pretty much anything (rocking, holding, use a swing, etc.) to put your child to sleep, that is considered a prop and is discouraged so that you don't get into bad habits. I don't want to start a bad habit that I'm going to have to break later, but I haven't met anyone yet who sits by the crib and teaches their 4 week old to fall asleep on their own.

Motherhood, huh. Who knew?

Back to camp, I feel sad for those who missed out, it was a great bonding weekend and I think it was very powerful for a lot of people. I am so thankful to God for the people that he has placed in my life and for the paths that have lead us all to where we are right now... and to where we are going.

Habits

2007-02-02T09:36:00.000-08:00

Chewing your nails... cracking your knuckles... putting your foot in your mouth... generosity?

I've spent the past couple of days thinking about generosity. Not all day, of course, that's ridiculous, but here and there, on commercial breaks, 2AM feedings...and I'm thinking 'what is there to say about generosity'? Or, more truthfully, 'what do I have to say about generosity?'.

I thought about sharing a touching story, one that would really melt your heart, but I just wasn't in the mood. I thought about talking about how I'm the most generous person I know at this moment as I give my life, my body, and more importantly, my sleep, for Eva. I realized that I was a little full of myself (and less than generous!), so I started to think about all the people who are more generous than I (and also more humble), but there are too many to list and I didn't want to leave anyone out. Since I didn't seem to have any original ideas, I thought about putting some quotes up from 'The Power of Generosity" by Dave Toycen... but I already did that.

So I turned to Wikipedia, your friendly, neighborhood know-it-all, for some inspiration. And this is what they say:

"Generosity is the habit of giving."

The first thing that struck me is that they called it a habit. Usually I think of habits in a negative context, but wikipedia says that generosity is a habit, and not only is it a habit, but it is a desirable habit. Now I've never looked at someone chewing their nails off and said to myself: "I desire that habit", but when I read through about how Christ lived his life and when I see others living in the same way, it's another story.

Jesus is generous always. It seems that every story about Him is a story of generosity. Sit down and take a read through Matthew, Mark, Luke or John. You'll see that it's true. You may find yourself thinking: "Man, that is desirable. I'm gonna have to get me some of that habit."

And then, you should.

eva and the ocean

2007-01-30T08:30:00.001-08:00

eva and the ocean, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

check out our new pictures. i'll post a real blog soon...

BODYBREAK with Hal Johnson and Joanne Mcloud

2007-01-25T14:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, so Chelsey has been a little preoccupied the last week or two so I thought I'd let you all know we are still alive and doing fine. Eva turned 1 month old today which is pretty crazy. It has gone by quickly but in some ways I can't remember life without her. The last month almost feels like a lifetime. I must say, she is pretty amazing though! She's smiling a bit now and has grown a lot. She's still eating like crazy which keeps Chelsey occupied most of the day. She isn't playing concertos on the piano quite yet but I can tell she wants too. My favorite thing to do is sing to her. Im not sure if I've actually sung a real song yet or not. I usually make them up as I go and they consist of lyrics like "Eva Marjorie, you are so pretty, I love you very much, your are so pretty, pretty little girl, most pretty in the world". All this rhyming has got me to thinking about a possible collaboration with snoop dogg or ice cube at some point. Anyways, life is good right now. I am loving my work with the church here in Victoria. Things are not always perfect, but most days I love coming to work. There was a time in life where I didn't think that was possible. Lately my heart has been filled to overflowing with love and appreciation for God and His guidance of Chelsey and I to this place in our life. At the same time, I also feel like God has blessed us so much that there has got to be a good challenge waiting just around the corner. I've felt a growing awareness that life will not always be filled with such joy as it is right now, and so I've found myself savouring each small detail of this phase in life. Ive also been trying to let the faithfulness of God, which I can see so clearly at the present time, soak into my heart so that if challenges do arise, I can look back and find trust in Him. But realistically what challenges could possibly arise. Eva might be the first child in history to not provide a challenge for her parents. It could happen.

Until next time, keep fit and have fun.

We love grandparents!

2007-01-17T11:12:00.000-08:00

Well, it's official.

I am now a stay-at-home Mom.

I had my first day yesterday. Up until yesterday we had a couple of sets of grandparents visiting and helping. And before that, Pete was at home with me. So yesterday was my first official day of being a stay-at-home Mom. You know how first days go. Whenever I start new jobs, the first days are always filled with mixed emotions. Some moments I think I'll like the job, other times I'm thinking of walking out.

I felt some of those mixed emotions yesterday. Of course it must be said that I love being a mom, I'm sure you already knew that. But yesterday brought many-a-doubt of my capability, the future, how to handle things, should she be allowed to drink pop, how do I get her to sleep on her own, will she love me?

Eva (prononced ee-va) didn't have such a great day yesterday. I'm pretty sure she misses all of her grandparents. And her daddy. She had an upset tummy and would hardly sleep.

Later in the evening she slept and I cried while I held her, memorizing her little face, thinking of how she is going to grow into a woman and thinking of how she is truly a gift. It was a moment. I was also watching "World Trade Center" so that didn't help the range in emotions.

Anyway, today is day two of being a SAHM. Little things like being able to go to the bathroom or get yourself some lunch get put off until you have met the needs of your child. Today I put Eva down in her playpen so I could do a little task, and now she is completely asleep.

She did it all by herself.

She's practically a genius.

More Photos

2007-01-14T20:29:00.001-08:00

, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

yo check it. (click on photo to see more)

From one mutha to anotha

2007-01-10T16:35:00.000-08:00

Reflections on Two Weeks of Motherhood

To sum it all up, basically my schedule revolves around eating. Eva wakes up in the morning and wants to eat. I feed her. Then I eat. Then I bathe or shower. Then she usually wants to eat again fairly soon. I feed her. Then I have a nap. I nap until she wakes up and wants to eat. I feed her. Then sometimes I have time to do stuff like blogging, but there is always something to do and email checking and picture uploading seem to not be so important. I eat or I visit grandparents. Or I hang out with Eva. Now she usually stays awake for a good part of this time. Then she wants to eat again. I feed her. Usually this is during our suppertime. Then I will try to eat something and go to bed and try to fall asleep as fast as I can. This is usually around 8 or 9. She sleeps, she wakes, I feed her. She sleeps, she wakes, I feed her. Then we start again.

So I do wish that I have been uploading more photos for you all and sending more updates, but little tasks like that sometimes just get pushed aside until there is time.

Eva is wonderful. She is so funny and fiesty and she has quite the little personality. You should meet her, if you haven't already. She is growing and growing and changing every day.

Check Flickr for some photos.

New Year's Eva

2007-01-01T12:47:00.000-08:00

Last year I jokingly made a resolution. I said it just to see Kerry & LaVonne's reaction as we sat around their table playing cards.

I resolved that in 2006 I, Chelsey Roberts, would become a mother.

LaVonne said she liked that resolution. We all had a good laugh.

Abraham was a hundred years old when his son Isaac was born to him. Sarah said, "God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me." And she added, "Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age." Genesis 21:5-7

I have always liked this passage and when I became pregnant I appreciated it even more. Now that Eva is here, the verse only gets better with greater understanding. I cannot describe God's grace and sovereignty with words, but he has displayed these and so much more throughout my pregnancy, delivery, and in the life of Eva. I have spent the week laughing with joy.

It may have been a joke, but I guess God took me seriously. I am so thankful that He did.

It's a girl!

2006-12-29T09:47:00.000-08:00

Okay, so Chelsey might kill me for going ahead and doing this, but I cannot wait any longer. She is finally asleep right now after another sleepless night. We havent had the time or energy yet to get a hold of some of our good friends so I apologize if you find out through this blog, but I could not wait any longer.

Eva Marjorie Roberts was born this past Monday at 10:32pm (Christmas Day). She wieghed 8 pounds 12 and a 1/2 ounces. Shes a very healthy little girl and has a healthy mother. We came home from the hospital on Wednesday at 3pm and are beginning to settle in at home. I'll wait for Chelsey to say anything more.

I didnt think it was possible for there to be another girl as perfectly beautiful as Chelsey, but believe it or not, it's possible.

While shopping at Russel Books

2006-12-24T15:07:00.001-08:00

parking ticket, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

Smells like Christmas Spirit

2006-12-23T22:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, it was shaping up to be a warm-fuzzy Christmasy day. We started out by watching Elf. Then we headed to Broadmead Village to do some shopping. It's true. We braved the shopping centres on the last Saturday before Christmas. We came home and I made myself a cup of Cocoa Camino dark hot chocolate. You should probably say Cocoa Camino out loud. It's just fun to say. Cocoa Camino. And it's tasty too, so if you want to try it head to your local 10,000 Villages and pick yourself up a canister.

We decided to make use of our 2 for $20 coupon at the Imax and check out the Polar Express. We paid, and rushed to get in line as it was about to sell out. But we decided it just wasn't worth it. We were behind about 200 people, all fighting for a good seat. We exchanged our tickets and decided to head to Famous Players to see Blood Diamond.

Yes, it was shaping up to be a warm-fuzzy Christmasy day, but then I watched Blood Diamond and that warm-fuzzy Christmas feeling left. However, I feel as though what I received in return is much better. Instead of commercial Christmas, I feel as though I now have the real Christmas mood. I feel more in tune with the Spirit of Jesus. I feel like my heart is in a more genuine place, searching for what I can do with my life to make a positive contribution in the world, however big or small.

"In this life we cannot do great things. We can only do small things with great love." - Mother Teresa

Merry Christmas.

The Season of Advent

2006-12-21T07:36:00.000-08:00

About a week ago it was suggested to me by my friend Tim that it is a special Advent for Peter and I this year as we wait for our child just like Mary would have been waiting for Jesus to be born.

Last Sunday, Martin got to talking about how Advent is a season of waiting. This year I think that I have come to understand a little bit more what it might have been like to have been waiting for the Messiah to come. I am in no way trying to liken my child to the Messiah, but I just have never experienced such anticipation in my life... just waiting, not knowing the day that the baby is coming, just like how the people of that time would be waiting and waiting, in the dark, not knowing the day that the Lord was coming like a thief in the night.

Be ready, stay awake, for you do not know the day.

A Peter Post...

2006-12-20T10:42:00.000-08:00

For some reason I felt like I should sit down and write a blog this morning, but as I sit here ready to type, my mind is blank. I just finished trying to call Jeremy O for the first time since moving to BC a year ago. Does that make me a terrible friend? He wasn't home so I thought I'd call my little bro Blair. He wasnt answering. I thought about giving Kori J, or Adam J a call, but they'd be at work, so I tried my parents thinking they might be home for lunch. No one home. So now I'm stuck talking to my computer.

This is a strange time in life. I am glad there are still two weeks till our due date and possibly two more weeks of life as I know it. At the same time, the anticipation is killing me and I can't wait for our child to come. I wake up each morning wondering if this is going to be the day our lives will change forever. I continuously find myself trying to savour our last few child-free moments, which, to be honest, is almost hopeless at this point, as our child already goes everywhere with us causing Chelsey discomfort and sometimes pain. I had a thought the other day that it would be great if the baby came really late, because it's a lot easier to care for right now than it will be after it's out. I guess it was one of those fearful moments of realizing I have no idea how to care for a baby. Chelsey didnt agree about the baby coming late for some reason. Apparently it isnt as easy for her to care for the baby right now as it is for me, and luckily she isn't concerned about her ability to take care of a baby.

So we continue to anxiously anticipate the arrival of "___?___", and are thankful for each and every opportunity we still have to date and sleep. We finished the baby/guest room on Monday and Chelsey put pictures on our flickr site for those who are interested. Chelsey has made sure I will post a blog for all of you when "____?____" arrives, so that will be the next time you hear from me.

pregnancy photoshoot

2006-12-16T18:20:00.000-08:00

, originally uploaded by thephotobooths.

Check out marnie's photos for 4 of 300 other shots from our photoshoot.

Nursery Pictures

2006-12-16T15:39:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures of the bedding that I made (with Vivian's wisdom and guidance):

The quilt:

And here are the paintings for the nursery. I got the ideas from some nursery bedding that I was interested in buying (before I decided to make my own).

It's much cheaper to do it yourself... but more more time consuming!

we'll all float on...

2006-12-13T19:14:00.000-08:00

Okay, there are a few things on the agenda this evening.

1) I'm done the nursery bedding! Yessssss. Photos of the bedding will come soon, but for now you can see me finishing up.

2) Kelli & Aaron are engaged! They are getting married on May 5, 2007 and my wonderfully lovely friend Kelli (in the middle) has asked me to be her maid of honour. This will be my first time in a wedding (besides my own of course).

3) Doctor's appointment went well. I'm already almost 2cm dilated. Now I know that I may very well still carry to my due date or past, but it's just exciting to know that my body is getting ready, things are happening, and it won't be long before my precious little baby is here.

4) Means signs with facedown records.

5) New pictures on Flickr.

Here on the right you can see Team Tardy. We were a team in Estonia together. Kelli and I are in the middle.

Here on the left you see Aaron & Kelli, looking wonderful in the summer sun.

Congratulations!

37 weeks

2006-12-12T09:55:00.000-08:00

37 weeks, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

Here we are, full-term and fully pregnant. When I see myself in the mirror I don't think I look as big as these pictures make me look. I can't tell which is accurate.

My mind has pretty much been on the baby for the past little while and I've been spending lots of time getting the nursery ready and picking up all those little necessities...

Peter and I have been going to prenatal classes every Monday night. They are like pep talks before the big game... when I leave them, I just feel like going out there and birthing that baby! But then I come home and I just wait. And wait. Actually I still have lots to do before the baby comes so hopefully it doesn't come too early. Peter and my mom think the baby is coming early.

We packed the baby's bag for the hospital last night and got started on mine. I still have some things to pick up before I can be fully packed so that will be done soon.

I have a checkup today, I'll let you know how it goes.

mama and baby

2006-12-06T12:55:00.000-08:00

mama and baby, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

I am 36 weeks pregnant. Now that Mike & Kim have little Avry, the anticipation is growing and growing for my own little baby to come. Yesterday Marnie and I did a little photo shoot of my belly, so I'll post more belly pics later, but for now you'll just have to live with my old Cons and the new pink ones that are for my little girl (if she's a little girl). I'm not one to say that only girls can wear pink, but I don't know if Pete will want his little boy wearing pink converse shoes. We might have to get something a little more hardcore.

So as I get closer and closer to the birth of my first child, I have to admit that I am a little scared. It's not easy to prepare yourself for the most painful day of your life. Also, it's a tad overwhelming to think of the responsibility that will come after. But I am very excited to meet this little person and to hold my little baby in my arms. To love. To teach. To photograph.

This morning I decided to make egg mcmuffins. It was way quicker than going to McDonald's (who thought that could be possible) and much tastier as well.

le photo d'Avry

2006-12-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

It may not have taken as long to see pictures of Avry as it did to see pictures of Suri Cruise, but these were much harder to wait for that's for sure! Here is my new neice Avry Grace, just 12 hours old at the time.

bellies and bulbs

2006-12-03T14:20:00.000-08:00

bellies and bulbs, originally uploaded by chelseydroberts.

35.5 weeks, 4.5 weeks left to go. Check out the rest of our tree decorating pictures on Flickr.

She's here!

2006-12-03T08:56:00.000-08:00

Avry Grace Fowler entered the world yesterday afternoon at 8lbs, 3oz., born to Mike & Kim Fowler, in Sylvan Lake, Alberta.

Auntie loves you and can't wait to meet you!

homework is for the birds

2006-11-28T17:33:00.000-08:00

It's 5:30 and I'm still in my pyjamas. I asked myself this question this morning: "Why would you get dressed when you are just going to stay inside and do homework all day?" Okay maybe I didn't ask myself the question directly, but I know that subconsciously I kept that resolve in my mind all day.

Seriously (srsly), I did homework all day. And I'm still not done. But I'm a lot closer than before. So that feels pretty good. I'm pretty much doing homework all day tomorrow and probably all day Thursday too. It's not a lot of fun. Especially when you'd rather think about your baby coming or decorate for Christmas or just do nothing.

I took about a half-an-hour break to eat lunch and managed to catch an episode of "A Baby Story". I had seen it before. I'm not sure if watching those is helpful or just frightening. Either way, I can't stop myself from wanting to take it all in.

Peter and I cleaned out the baby's closet yesterday (that's not a metaphor). We have a few boxes for Salvation Army now. The baby's clothes and belongings are put away in the dresser and the closet now and we have the crib all set up and ready to go. It feels good to go in there now, we're just one step closer to being prepared. If I had some thread I could finish up those bumper pads that Health Canada doesn't even recommend having in the first place, and then I'll share photos of the bedding that I have created. I like it.

We still have some things to get ready before the baby comes but I'm starting to feel more and more prepared (materially that is). I don't think I'll ever be prepared for parenthood. But I'm going to give it my best shot.

Anyway, Victoria's still pretty much shut down from the snow. Our prenatal classes were cancelled last night (a true snow day) and I know that the schools were still closed today.

I think the birds are confused. They keep eating bird seed off of our patio and then flying into our patio door. Srsly, it happened at least three times. And another bird was flew into our other window a couple of times, but I closed the blinds to help him out a little.

They just don't know what is going on.

Housekeeping

2006-11-27T11:06:00.000-08:00

Click here to see pictures from the baby shower.

Also notice that I have added more links... (although it might be hard to tell because I have so many on there):
- James Davies
- Mike & Kim Fowler
- Tamara Knutson
- J'Nea Muller
- Jessie Nickolett
- Kris Olson
- Nic Olson
- Karl & Helen Roberts
- Alicia Slywka

Annnnnnnd Blair has changed his blog address and that has been changed also.

snow day!

2006-11-27T10:17:00.000-08:00

Yesterday:

Today:

Routines

2006-11-23T08:14:00.000-08:00

Driving down Quadra street during the morning rush is no easy feat. It requires a lot of skill and a lot of patience. There are just two lanes: in the left lane you need to watch out for left turners, in the right lane you need to dodge the buses. This is a route that I have come to know quite well as Peter and I have used it to arrive at Tolmie Avenue every morning for five months.

You tend to become pretty familiar with a route that you have taken every day for five months. As we come down Parkwood there is always a red headed boy walking himself to where the school bus picks him up. We see the group of students waiting on the corner for this bus every morning too. If we're running late sometimes we even see the bus. Then once we're on Quadra we pass by two kids that used to be in my group at Kids Klub. They're waiting for the city bus in their school uniforms. I always wonder if they see me. There's the same Victoria Business School van that seems to be en route with us every morning. There's the approximately 40-year-old woman with extremely blonde hair that walks on the right sidewalk every morning. I notice all of these things.

But now there is one thing missing.

It's us.

We no longer take Quadra street every morning.

We don't have to.

Because I'm on my leave now.

Yessssssssssssssssssss.

I wonder if those little characters that were a part of our morning will miss us.

Back from the dead... or living in light of it

2006-11-18T20:46:00.000-08:00

So last night Peter and I went for coffee and he was talking about how when he was little he used to try to picture what it was like if God didn't create the earth. He said he used to picture himself floating in outer space and there were no stars, no planets, nothing, just complete black. He said it used to upset him quite a bit to think about that.

I said I used to think about that same kind of thing when I was little too, only it was me picturing what it would be like when I died. I said I would picture myself floating aimlessly through outerspace but it was completely black and I couldn't even comprehend how black it was and then I would realize that there would actually be nothing, I wouldn't even see the black because I would be dead and I wouldn't exist.

That's pretty troublesome for a little tiny kid. I didn't know anything about God back then, and I think it's pretty clear that I didn't have a concept of heaven.

Now that I know God a little bit, it totally makes sense that just our bodies die, not our souls. As a little girl, I just couldn't understand that I wouldn't be able to see the blackness. I would try to wrap my head around it, the fact that I would be completely non-existent, no thoughts or feelings, just a skeleton in the ground with snakes going through my eye-sockets (seriously I used to picture that too). I think the reason it was so hard was becuase it just didn't make sense. How could I not see the darkness? How could I just not exist anymore when here I am thinking and feeling and experiencing? That little girl was on to something. She just didn't have fancy words.

It makes so much sense to me now that we are spirits in these bodies, and eventually my body will slow down, and I won't be able to walk very fast and then I won't be able to use this vehicle very well. Young kids will think I'm stupid. But I'll still be the same person inside, with the same soul, and once that body dies, my soul will go on to what's next. I'm not even going to pretend that I know anything about heaven or hell or what happens in the next life, but God has made some pretty good promises that it's going to be some kind of wonderful.

Now that I know that... does it change the way I live? Does it change how I feel about the world? Well, somewhat. But I don't wake up every morning pumped about someday being able to be with God in Heaven. I mean, that sounds pretty great, but what really changes the way I live isn't God's promise of heaven... it's God.

God is teaching me in this life about loving others. Through His character and His prime example I have been shown a way that I cannot ignore. Just like it makes sense to me that our souls don't die, it makes so much sense that we love each other. Jesus goes so much deeper than just doing kind little deeds for people, you know the ones that make you feel kinda fuzzy. I mean those are good and everything, but he went so much deeper and is showing me the way too. It rings so true, I can't deny it, even if there is no afterlife (which, God says there is).

I have a quote written down somewhere, and someone pretty smart said it, but I can't remember where my book of quotes is, so you're just going to have to hear my re-phrasing... this guy, well, people thought he was pretty foolish for believing in something that "wasn't true". And he basically said that even if what those people were saying was true and God didn't really exist, he'd still rather be considered an idiot and be with Christ than to live apart from Him.

I had had those exact feelings before so when I read that in whatever book I read it from, you can just about imagine the "Hmmm"ing, eye-widening, and head nodding that was going on in agreeance.

It is I, Peter!

2006-11-17T10:52:00.000-08:00

Well, since my wife has not cared enough about you all to post a new blog for a while, I thought this might be the perfect chance to step in and take over our blog. She is such a blog hog!

Actually, the truth is that Chelsey has been very busy and hasn't really had a chance to sit down at a computer lately since she's still at work till 5 every day and our evenings are usually filled until it is so late that she can't bare to be on her feet any more. I wasnt sure what to write so I thought i'd begin by honouring my beautiful, courageous, strong, and confident wife. I know this sounds cheap and it may seem like i'm just trying to suck up, but I have honestly been amazed by my wife recently. I'm not sure if you have experienced the feeling of being almost 8 months pregnant. I know I haven't, but I have witnessed it first hand and I have to say, with all due respect to all you ladies out there, that I could not wish for anyone more courageous and strong to carry my child. I know that it has seemed to everyone so far that our pregnancy has been without flaw and that Chelsey's health has been smooth sailing, which technically it has, but what you don't hear about is how she comes home from work every day with such a sore back that its hard for her to walk. Not only that but when she does finally sit down, she sometimes gets leg pains that are so sharp, her muscles feel like there tearing (I might be exagerating a little, but i dont know exactly how it feels and I think she deserves a little embelishment). Did I mention yet that our baby is kicking the heck out of her. Sometimes this violent little baby kicks so hard her whole tummy shakes. I dont know what he's doing in there but he's definitely going straight to 'the naughty mat' as soon as he or she gets out. Also, I'm not sure if you've ever thought about it before, but it's pretty much impossible for a pregnant lady to lay on her stomach. This is obvious but did you also know that pregnant women are not supposed to lay flat on their back either? Something to do with pinching an artery and cutting the bloodflow to the legs. Anyways, this only leaves the sides and I think only the left side is recommended, but at the same time when she lays on her side the tummy's weight pulls on her stomach muscles so much it hurts, so she has to prop up the tummy with a pillow. We now sleep with two new friends. The pillow to prop her tummy up, and the pillow to keep her from rolling onto her back. As you could imagine this has made it difficult for her to sleep well. Which reminds me that this human being that has grown inside her belly has taken up so much room that it is crowding her diaphragm and bladder which makes it hard to breathe and makes you need to get up twice every night to empty yourself. I'll stop there as I may have already shared too much, but my point is that Chelsey is defintely a lot more strong and courageous than I am. I would be whining by now like you couldnt believe. Chelsey has faced this all with a humble attitude and accepted it as normal. I just had to take this opportunity to honour her for this and for doing an incredible job of carrying our child. She is amazing!

Other than all of this, our child is healthy and we are really looking forward to it's arrival. We started pre-natal classes last monday night(TERRIFYING). I don't know if the videos were necessary. Chelsey is actually finished working on Monday at noon. She'll be on medical leave until the baby comes and then maternity leave for a year. Man, it would be sweet to have a year off to relax. (Thats a joke in case you didn't know) I'm preaching my first sermon since coming to Victoria this Sunday. A little scary. Youth and Worship stuff is going well. I've been continuously challenged, busy, and either discouraged or encouraged which I believe are all good things. I may be done hunting for the year now(Im pretty sure chels is happy about this). Did you know we get a four month hunting season here in BC (thats exciting for me) I definitely took advantage of this. Ended up with a small whitetail buck and a nice bull elk. Enough meat to fill the freezer. Can't think of anything else right now. Thanks for reading.

Peter

2006-11-16T18:47:00.000-08:00

i'll be back.

Oh, honey honey

2006-11-05T19:12:00.000-08:00

Sugar...

Before I got pregnant, I was looking into how to cut back on refined sugars. Then a couple of weeks ago when I thought that I might have diabetes, I started looking into it again. I found this report on CBC.ca and thought that I'd share it with you. A lot of you probably don't care, but this is my blog and I can do what I want.

Besides, Tim does it all the time ;)

A Long Obedience

2006-11-05T18:36:00.000-08:00

Martin's always graciously lending out his books to people. A few weeks ago he lent one to me. It's by Eugene Peterson and it's called "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction". The tag line is: "Discipleship in an Instant Society".

Friends, I have to say, this book is very good. Every chapter is so full of truth and wisdom. I started writing down specific quotes but I stopped because I was wanting to write down everything. I'm just going to have to get this book for myself. It's one for the permanent collection.

In the first chapter he talks about living life as a tourist (only wanting the high points) or as a pilgrim (someone who is going somewhere). I had never really thought about that before, but it's so true of who I am, who we are conditioned to be. I want things here and now so that we can move onto the next thing. I always start learning something new but when I find that I am not skilled in excellence after a few tries, I give up or I get bored, or I just simply lack the determination to continue on. Usually I am not willing to put in the time to practice, I just expect that I can decide to do something and instantly be amazing at it.

But becoming a disciple takes time. Peterson says that a disciple is a learner, but not in the academic setting of a schoolroom, rather at the work site of a craftsman. He says that we are constantly in a learning-growing relationship with Jesus, whom we are apprenticed to.

I've seen the Rob Bell DVD called "Dust". Recently the young adults had a discussion about it. After a very interesting history lesson, Bell talks a lot about how Jesus is our Rabbi and he picked us and he believes in us and that we are disciples. And that disciples would follow their Rabbis everywhere and were consistently striving to be like their Rabbi. He says that because the disciples were following their Rabbis everywhere, at the end of the day they would be convered in whatever the Rabbi had walked through. He says "May you be covered in the dust of your Rabbi".

I don't have any big conclusion or point to ponder.

I just wanted to share with you some things that I've been reading, watching, thinking about, discussing, and trying to live out.

Man, I am so out of the blogging habit.

Halloween

2006-10-31T22:18:00.000-08:00

31 weeks on the 31st of October:

And just 9 weeks to go!

Tonight we went up to Brent & Elise's. We also enjoyed the company of Jordan & Cherie, Erin & Graham, Colin & Lindsay, Steve & Joan, Levi (of course) and many others who dropped in for candy.

Here is the girls crew, with Miranda and Hannah popping in.

The gentlemen.

And Levi dressed as a monkey.

Diagnosis: Negative

2006-10-30T17:30:00.000-08:00

Just so everybody knows, I don't have gestational diabetes.

7 days in a week

2006-10-29T16:22:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm feeling bloggy.

So, means has now come and gone. It was a really quick visit this time, but I stayed up way too late with them and Pete on Monday night watching a super old means2anend and goodsampark show (the one at a church in Weyburn with Stereotrap). Earlier that evening we met up with Marnie at 1415 Broad Street to catch means live and Peter and I were talking about how wierd it is to go to shows when you don't know anyone there. The music community in Regina is so connected. I'm sure it is here too, but it's hard to break into a clique. Anyway we were surprised to see Bretton and Jordan and Eric there, it felt like being in Regina again.

Tuesday I had to go sit in the medical lab for three hours getting tested for gestational diabetes. I had my screening test last Saturday and flunked it, so I had to go through the real test and I am still waiting for results. And trying to eat sugar-free of course.

Wednesday and Thursday flew by, Youth & Young Adults, lots of conversation and lots of soul searching. Friday was a party with the Youth, a bunch of them were dressed up and I felt like a party pooper because I had forgotten about the party and my fairy wings broke and by the time I rememebered the party it was too late to get a costume because I was so busy. So I was just Chelsey, scaring people with my usual-ness.

On Saturday Pete went hunting with Kirk & Jeremy and I hung out with Crystal and Hannah. In the morning we hung out at Central Baptist Church, helping out with a breakfast that they put on and then we prayed and hung out and hatched some great plans (well actually God hatched them, but we finally just realized them in our hearts) for some things we could do to help others in need. Then we ate tacos and watched Elizabethtown. I was tired all day. So I went to bed early and the time changed and I couldn't sleep in past 7.

So that brings us to Sunday, I went to church and before it started I hung out with Levi (Brent & Elise's) in the nursery and visited with my friend Sandy and her baby Grace. I borrowed "A Long Obedience in the Same Direction" by Eugene Peterson from Martin. We sang and sang and the whole church was bopping today. Seriously. Then I took pictures of a bunch of the families from church and then we went to Romeo's at Broadmead with Brent, Elise, Levi and their friend Chris.

So now you are updated in the crazy-busy life that I lead.

Spiritually now, I've been wrestling with some issues lately, about what I'm doing with my life, about what God wants me to do with my life. God keeps bringing up "the least of these" and I keep trying to figure out what I can do to express God's love to them. My way of doing that is to keep praying about it and taking small steps to see where God is leading me. In some ways I feel like Noah because God asked him to build an ark and that must have looked pretty crazy to every one around him and I keep thinking about the homeless and those who need so much and a lot of people seem to think I'm kind of crazy for feeling so strongly about it. I say they seem to think that, I don't know that they actually do.

I met this guy named Thane on Saturday and he was saying how he spent a whole winter in New Brunswick outside in -57 degree weather. He kept saying how there were all these really wealthy people around and a bunch of churches and they all knew that he was there and no one took him in or got him shelter. He kept saying how the God that they were worshipping couldn't be the same God that he knew because he knew that God was supposed to be love and love would've taken him in and gotten him warm. He kept saying that our beliefs are proven by our actions.

It was pretty convicting.

the most precious band you could believe

2006-10-24T13:16:00.000-07:00

The Weekend

2006-10-22T19:02:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday night and the weekend has come and gone.

Saturday morning to mid-afternoon was spent with this raking (and rockin') crew:

Then I went for coffee with Beth, Jeidy, and Lin, and we looked at some cute cats at the pet store. I sewed with Vivian for something like 5 hours. We finished the bedskirt for the crib and we are almost done the quilt.

Today I got to sleep in a bit and went to church with Elise & Levi. After lunch, Peter and I went to the park by the Christ Church Cathedral and took some photos.

After that we came home and I put on some sweats and enjoyed a Lindor chocolate and a chai latte before watching Click. I got to spend some time with my wonderful husband, and it was very, very nice.

Tomorrow our good friends from means will arrive on the island and they are going to spend a couple days with us.

They are very tough, as you can see.

Kristen will appreciate this one

2006-10-17T18:41:00.000-07:00

So here we are, 29 weeks and growing. It's not the best picture but some of you were starting to get hostile, so this is what you get.

78 days to the due date.

But there's weekends in there, and they always go so fast, so it's more like 56 days. Plus the long weekend in November, so that takes it to 55 days and then of course there is Christmas, which is about 2 weeks long. So 41 days really. And this week is practically over, and work makes the weeks go by so quickly and so really its like 30 days.

And when you throw in schooling, eating, sleeping, hanging out with the youth, sewing with Vivian, Young Adults, taking pictures and my new-found hobby of knitting, the due date is basically 2 days away. A weekend really! Oh, and then there's getting the baby room ready and preparing the house for a little one. Really it's like 20 minutes away.

It's a cup of coffee!

Spooky the Spider

2006-10-08T16:10:00.000-07:00

I thought that I would introduce you to our new spidey friend. He made his home on our railing about a week ago. He fashioned together this handy little web to catch his food and then he hides in a hole in the railing and waits.

I like him.

aitah!

2006-10-07T17:04:00.000-07:00

Almost 4 years ago I prayed a little prayer. That probably seems pretty normal, but at that time, I wasn't the prayin' type. I didn't even know if I believed that there was a god up there listening to me. But I wanted a boyfriend and I was betting that if there was a god, then he could probably get that for me. So I was pretty specific. I really let God know what I wanted. And his response? "So you want a boyfriend huh? Well I'll show you what happens when you start a relationship with me..." He did lead me to a boyfriend, but what he really was doing was coming into my life and starting to change everything. God can be pretty sneaky you know.

I'm pretty thankful He did that.

I'm thankful for:
- Peter
- God's little person that He is growing inside of me and the honour it is to be able to teach this person and guide it through life
- my mom and her humour and her wisdom
- my stepdad and his humour and his love for hot sauce
- my dad and his own little ways of letting me know that he loves me
- my stepmom and her access to sweet travel deals
- my brothers and their little families
- my family-in-law: too much to list
- my friends that are close, my friends that are far
- laughter and tears
- the whirring and buzzing and aroma of coffee being made while sitting across the table from a good friend
- Amelie
- the book "Frederick" by Leo Lionni

You know, this would be a lot easier if we all listed what we were thankful for each day. I'm giving up on this list, I am blessed with too much.

Just shut up, shut up

2006-10-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

You know those people who are real blabber-mouths? Of course you do, you know, the ones who are always talking and you have to do a lot of nodding and make a lot of listening noises and you can hardly get a word in even when they ask you questions because the only time they are even asking you questions is only so that they can just talk about themselves some more?

In my relationship with God, that person is me. I can't believe that I never really thought about it before, I mean I've obviously heard people talk about "listening to God" and having a "conversation" with God, but I never really realized that when I'm praying it's really all me, all the time, goinggoinggoing, just trying to fill the space and if I can't think of something to say I just find something to say so there's no awkward silence between God and I.

Remember how I said that God is teaching me about how our relationship should look a lot like my realtionship with my husband? What if all I ever did when I talked to Peter was just go on and on about things and thanked him for a bunch of stuff really quickly and asked him for help with things and then just said, "okay goodbye!" and got up and walked away?

"Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating."

- Joel [Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind]

The wierd thing about God is that he actually does things for us even though we talk to Him like that. I can't imagine me talking to Peter like that and listing off a bunch of things that I'd like him to do for me and then just having him do them without even being able to say a word to me. (Although sometimes wouldn't it be flippin' sweet?)

Tonight at Journey, our weekly youth night, we watched the Rob Bell DVD called 'Noise'. One thing that really stuck out to me was all the passages that talked about "being silent" before God. Bell goes on to talk about how hard it is to be silent and how we are surrounded by so much audible and visible noise. I realized that I do get pretty uncomfortable with silence. I think we are all just so used to things beeping at us and talking to us and buzzing around in our ears that we don't know how to handle silence. I have to have the TV on when I am at home alone, even if I'm not watching it, or some music, or else I feel like the day just can't go on. I can hardly even meditate, I can't shut my brain off, it's going from one place to the next. I'm going to start working towards changing that. I'm going to start being a little quieter, a little more attentive, and "talk" with God like I'm actually in a relationship with Him.

Happy Wednesday

2006-10-04T08:00:00.000-07:00

Well, it feels like it has been a while. I'm feeling the pressure to write something but I guess I haven't really had anything to say! It's October now and it seems like September flew by. Now that everything has gotten going again in the fall it feels like I have something going on every night between homework, husband, youth, young adults, and anything spur of the moment.

Our anniversary was on Monday the 2nd. Two years. We spent the evening together eating at a harbourside restaurant and then enjoying the Victoria Symphony... that is until my back said that we could enjoy it no longer. I am now 27 weeks pregnant, on the brink of the 3rd trimester, and my back and my ligaments are letting me know it. Will I ever feel normal again? Still can't complain, everything seems to be developing perfectly and according to "the norm" so that's good.

You know, I was thinking last night how the first and foremost thing that God calls us to do is have a relationship with Him. That's really all. But then I got to thinking about how we humans are actually pretty terrible at relationships; I mean, the most common comparisons of how our relationship with God should be is 1) Father/Child and 2) Husband/Wife. The single parent and divorce rate ought to tell us just how well we know how to keep those relationships healthy. No wonder we find it so hard to simply have a relationship with God! No wonder we felt like we should read the Bible like a sciencebook and reduce it to charts and graphs in order to feel like we are "good" with God. Anyway, God has me thinking about the whole Husband/Wife comparison a lot lately and He's helping me to see that having a relationship isn't some big flashy thing that I have to do, in fact, it should be more like how my relationship is with Peter. I felt a bit of relief there. I mean, marriage is tough sometimes, and I am still called to be selfless and serving, but this view of God sure beats the other view I had... you know the one where I think God is just waiting for me to screw up so that he can burn his rage against me?

Yeah, this one's a lot better.

Gridblog Friday: Living Forgiven

2006-09-29T07:58:00.000-07:00

I enjoy shopping. I always have. There is something so satisfying about finding good deals and having something new to bring home. It is also satisfying to be able to provide for yourself, to take care, and supply yourself with what you need to live. A problem with this situation is that somebody really smart figured that out and they got a job in advertising. Knowing the satisfaction that comes with having new things, their job is to figure out ways to convince people that they need these new things. Our culture has become obsessed with consuming. Our culture is so obsessed with purchasing that we even try to do that with God’s love.

When I first came to believe, I used to beat myself up pretty badly. All I could really think about was all of the things that I was doing wrong. I let my sins overwhelm me and I became anguished by my inability to “control” myself. Living like that kind of made the whole “being a Christian” thing not feel very good. I wanted to give up, to say the least. When I would confide in others, they would tell me “I don’t think that you understand God’s grace.” I didn’t even know what the phrase “God’s grace” really meant, so I knew that I definitely didn’t understand how it worked.

In the Preschool where I work they call praying “Grace”. We “say Grace” before every snack and lunch time. During our music circle times you can sometimes hear the other teachers say things like, “Okay, two more songs and then Grace”. Now that I know that grace means “the freely given, unmerited favour and love of God”, I realize that it doesn’t really make sense to call our prayers “Grace”. I mean no disrespect, but it sounds so silly doesn’t it? Yet how many times have I subconsciously thought that way; how many times have I tried to barter with God? When I first came to believe, that was how I was trying to live my life. I was trying to buy God’s forgiveness by doing things for Him, by ‘quitting’ my sins, by going to church. “Okay, I’ll sing these next two songs and then I’ll get me some grace; I’m pretty sure I’ll be forgiven after that.”

I am so thankful that God revealed a little more of His truth to me, because I think that I would’ve given up on God by trying to live that kind of Christianity. Who wouldn’t? The psalmist writes: “If you, O LORD, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?” (Psalm 130:3).

Becoming a believer hasn’t made me any less a sinner. Living forgiven has allowed me to let go of my pride, admit that I am a sinner, and accept God’s love. Living forgiven has allowed me to see my sins but know that God remembers them no more. Living forgiven has allowed me to confess that I am not like God and gives me the courage to try to be like Him. You have to accept God’s love before you can love Him back, and you have to love Him to obey Him.

It is pretty strange to live within a system where nobody owes anybody anything; it feels wrong not to have to pay for my sins. I see now that, in the beginning, I was trying to earn my forgiveness. I couldn’t accept that God loved me without feeling like I had to do something to deserve it. I wanted to take care of it myself. But grace is freely given. Grace is the unmerited favour and love of God.

Another phrase commonly heard in our preschool is “Let’s put our hands together for Grace”. This is when we bring out our praying hands. To that I say, “Yes! Let’s put our hands together and give it up for God’s grace!”

Now that makes sense!

The Ruch's Roost

2006-09-24T20:00:00.000-07:00

So they have been pretty quiet about it, but John Ryan and Tami Ruch have had a blog for quite some time now. In fact, they first told me the address to it when we came out here for our interview last November. I forgot the address have been searching for it ever since, consistently forgetting to ask them.

Click here to go to their site.

Oh yeah, and another thing they've been quiet about...

they're having a baby!

Leaves turn red.

2006-09-23T21:44:00.000-07:00

I love personal inscriptions in books.

Today Hannah and I went to Russel Books on Fort Street. Aisles of books climbing the walls, stretching out toward the street. Books once held in the hands of someone else. I searched for a deal on some Maya Angelou or Leonard Cohen. I bought a couple of books of poems, but not by either poet.

The most intriguing part of the experience was reading the personal inscriptions just inside the book covers--comminuqué among comrades, letters from lovers.

"The best gift in life is a good friend, Tim."

"I do love you... me."

I wondered at the meaning behind their gift, where life has taken them since, and how the recipient decided to be finished with a souvenir of their relationships.

I find myself wanting to read the poetry of these characters instead.

But telling gets old...

2006-09-20T17:22:00.000-07:00

I rushed all morning. My heart rate was probably elevated, I was going so fast. The truth is, I wasn't even running late, I was just rushing. I opened the door to leave and found a treasure. Time stopped. Rain was pouring down from a grey sheet that covered the sky. I stood and listened as God fell on the earth, on the grass, on the trees that reach up toward the sky. I let myself become hypnotized, lost in the patterns of the drops as they met the ground. I listened as God said "I am here." I got in my car and let Sufjan softly sing me to work, driving through God the whole way there.

On my way to work I saw a lot of people who didn't look very happy about the rain. How odd, I thought, that we could be experiencing the same thing... but we each had quite opposite feelings about it. I imagined that it is how some people go through this life knowing that God exists and others don't know, just because our experiences are different doesn't mean that He's not there.

Really you should listen to "Predatory Wasp of the Palisades Is out to Get Us!" by Sufjan Stevens if you want to have a better understanding of the mood. It is such a wonderfully hopeful song.

I came home today and I had mail from World Vision. It was an update for my child... but this time, she wrote. I had a smile on my face the whole time.

"My prayer, peace for your mind, joy for your spirit, and love for your heart. May you have all this forever. Love, Jo Maila."

What a kid.

Topique

2006-09-19T22:03:00.000-07:00

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of convenience, but where he stands in moments of challenge, moments of great crisis and controversy." Martin Luther King, Jr.

So, if Dave hasn't yet posted a topic... I'm writing an article on the topic "Living Forgiven" for Sister Triangle. And that's my suggestion for the next gridblog. If Dave has one, I'll supply the same or a different one later.

Elk Hunting

2006-09-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

So the day has finally come. Peter and Uncle Kirk left for their elk-hunting trip. Auntie Vivian and I both feel a sense of relief... perhaps elk fever will leave our houses until next year. We'll see.

But.

As glad as I am that they are finally gone on their trip... that ache is back! My other half is missing.

Sigh.

How could you not miss someone who says these sorts of things:

"Jesus is the king of the world... therefore, he is the king of rock and roll."

- Peter Roberts, after watching a documentary on Elvis Presley

We're 22!

2006-09-16T08:15:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm 24 weeks pregnant. The actual "age" of the baby is 2 weeks behind, so the baby is 22 weeks old (as Peter mentioned). So we celebrated being 22 together.

In this picture I am reading "Does a Kangaroo Have A Mother?" (by Eric Carle) to the babe. He/She really seemed to enjoy it as it bounced around and kicked me lots during the story. Peter even took a turn reading.

Here is a picture from the 23rd week of pregnancy (taken last weekend). I agree with Kristi that the pictures do seem to make you look bigger than you really are... I guess it depends on what you are wearing too, but the truth is this baby is GROWING.

My daycare kids love that there is a baby in my tummy and let me know every day "Your baby is getting big!" Also, the same kids ask every day, "When's the baby gonna come out?" Every day I tell them "After Christmas." It's a lot of fun being pregnant and working with small kids. They all try to feel the baby moving and some even put their ear to my tummy to try and hear the baby.

Anyway, so far so good. Baby is growing, my back and feet are getting tired, but no complaints or complications thus far. Thanks for your continued prayers.

I retract, I retract!

2006-09-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

Okay, last week I mentioned that I wanted to see a certain movie called "The Last Kiss" the day after my birthday. Today is the day after my birthday (thanks to everyone for the sweet comments!) and I got my wish... I went to the movie. And I now say that last week was the first and final time that I will promote a movie that I haven't seen!

Baby Roberts gives it two dirty diapers.

Yeah, that was a lame joke.

But anyway, I don't recommend the movie. It's sad that at the opening credit you already have the feeling that it isn't going to be good. And then you're flooded with some really uncomfortable "scenes" (you know the ones) that you don't think anyone should have to witness, and they didn't ADD anything to the movie EITHER, and it really just felt like the movie was trying to be something but it just didn't quite make the cut.

Thankfully there was some distracting noise coming from the little room that they play the movie from and we were able to get refunded.

THAT'S how good it was.

Okay, there were some funny parts.

There were some melt-your-heart parts.

But when you go to a movie and it's mostly girls and couples (whereupon you know that the males were all dragged there)... maybe it's not the best sign.

So, to those who felt like they wanted to see the movie after my post last week... I now retract my recommendation and will not take any responsibility for your exposure to the movie and its contents!

Happy Birthday Chelsey!

2006-09-14T11:31:00.000-07:00

In case you didn't know, it's Chelsey's birthday today. I want to invite you all, yes even you silent blog readers, to leave comments and congratulations for her. She is now 22 and it just so happens that our baby turned 22 weeks old (in the womb) as well today. You could post congratulations for our baby, but I dont think he/she will be able to read it for a while. He/she can hear pretty well, however, and can kick pretty good too. That might not sound like much, but it amazes me. Anyways, I would post a blog about whats on my mind at the moment, but I doubt you'd want to hear all the details surrounding the elk hunting trip I'm going on next week. I'm leaving Sunday to spend a week up in the mountains. Will get to spend time with my dad, my uncle, and my cousin. Did I mention we're going to be camping up in the mountains and hunting elk. Okay, before I get carried away I need to quit. Please take some time to post a comment for Chelsey. Thanks.

Three babies!

2006-09-09T23:10:00.000-07:00

I just found out that my brother Carlos and his wife Dawn are expecting their second child in May! All three of us are now expecting.

Mike & Kim are due on December 3, 2006.
Pete & Chels are due January 3, 2007.
Carlos & Dawn are due in May 2007.

How cool is that?

(if you didn't know, the answer is "pretty cool".)

Inspiration for real...

2006-09-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

Upon researching the history behind the word "inspiration" by use of the Online Etymology Dictionary, I have decided that, perhaps, alexisonfire's sudden fame isn't sincerely what inspires me. At this point, I have decided to unveil the truth.

I am inspired by art, namely poetry and photography, but I have been known to be inspired by other artforms as paintings, music, and possibly even sidewalk chalk. When someone has wrapped their tongue around the intricasies of daily life and expressed through such accurate use of the English language, exposing the raw, hidden beauty that might never have been seen or appreciated, it is like something has blown up inside of me. I feel like I can see. The world around me is different. You should know that when I use the word "poetry" I am not referring strictly to metrical verse, but any form of writing that has poetic spirit. Photography is very poetic for me as well, the wind is knocked out of me when someone has captured the exquisite nature that is the human experience by painting with light. Not every picture does this, at least for me, but the photos that display those qualities I used to describe poetry, those are the ones that really knock my socks off. It makes me want to live in a different way.

I am also inspired by those who have made a conscious effort to take a stand, despite the pattern of the world that surrounds them. People who have said to themselves, "This stops here, with me," and they break the chain of whatever affliction it may be that was causing dysfunction in the world. People who have admitted, "I am the problem" instead of denying it and blaming everyone else. These people have decided to take the uphill slope wooded with thorns for the good of their neighbours, their family, themselves... these people are fresh air. They wake up each day and press forward instead of giving into their desire for instant gratification and the pursuit of personal happiness. I love meeting these people, hearing of their lives and living with them as the rest of it unfolds.

Given that I am inspired by those two things, you can pretty much assume that I am inspired by God since He is the beauty of the world that I find so wonderful through the mediums of art and humanity. I won't go much further into the "God topic" because most of you know already that He is inspiring, and many of you already know what it is that I personally find inspiring about Him.

Now I am going to leave the computer and interact with creation.

alexisonfire album debuts at #1

2006-09-08T18:29:00.000-07:00

...knocking out Christina Aguilera!

How's that for a little Canadian band that started out in the Ontario underground scene? I remember when they came through Regina the first time and they packed the Exchange full... now they are stinkin' taking the places of big time "pop" stars. That's inspiring.

But who could forget that local opening band that really brought the atmosphere? Aww yeaaa.

A God who is alive...

2006-09-07T13:33:00.000-07:00

I feel that I must begin this blog with an apology because you were probably expecting to encounter more of Chelseys incredible gift of writing but unfortunately you are stuck with my writing(if you can call it that). Anyways, this is Peter. Yes, I know that it's weird to see me posting a blog, but for some reason I felt like this was a good time to post blog #2. It only took me a year and a half to get to # 2. My title was going to be "I am alive", as I never write anything on here and never find the time to sit down and email friends, but instead I felt "God is alive" would be more telling of what I feel like sharing with you. It will be nothing profound and definetely not as beautifully written as the one who usually writes these things(Chelsey), but here it goes. I was sitting in my office just now reflecting on my past weekend in Oregon with 6 of the teens from our youth group. We were attending FaithQuest which is a large youth retreat designed for teens who wish to be challenged and grow in their faith(450 teens attended). As we were driving down I had big hopes for the kids and the impact this weekend would have on them. Within hours of arriving I soon realized that God had plans for more than the teens. Within those first few hours I was overcome with the comfort of God's presence and was amazed at how alive He is in our world. It would take me too long to try and explain how this happened and would then probably not make any sense to you so I won't bother, but in case you have been wondering lately, God is most definitely alive and working in our world. I've seen Him in young and old people who's lives are changed as they turn to follow God. I've seen Him in old people who have lived with sin for many years and have overcome a desperate struggle in order to realign their life with God. I've seen Him in the lives of those who have given themselves wholeheartedly to sharing the news of Gods grace with the world. I've seen him through the love, forgiveness, and acceptance found in most church families (And for those who may have just scoffed, you did hear me right, I have actually seen those characteristics displayed in many churches and I am only a Christian now because of it). I've seen Him through the beauty of His creation. In the prairies(yes their beautiful), the mountains, the ocean, wildlife, streams, and I've even seen the occasional beautiful person here or there. Actually, every person in the world is an amazing creation of Gods. For example, if you've experienced the wonder of watching your wifes belly grow knowing your little child is being knit together day by day, preparing to take its first breath outside the womb. And if you've sat in the doctors office at only 9 weeks while your child is only one inch long and heard its little heart(the size of an aspirin) beating and pumping blood through its miniature sized, rapidly developing body, then how could you not see a God who is alive, powerful, and at work in our world. This isn't rhetorical, I would actually like an explanation if youve experienced this and still dont believe we are all created by a loving God.(peter@shelbournestreet.com). Anyways, it seems that everywhere I turn these days I am reminded of Gods power, creativity, and comforting presence. Having said all this, I dont know what its supposed to mean. I just thought I'd share my thoughts while I was thinking them. Thanks for listening.

Peter

The day after...

2006-09-04T15:47:00.000-07:00

I want to go see this the day after my birthday.

From the writer of "Million Dollar Baby", the co-writer of "Crash", three actors that I really like, a decent soundtrack... should be pretty good.

We peeled the freckles from our shoulders

2006-09-04T14:35:00.000-07:00

It's Labour Day.

That can only mean two things.

1) A day off.
2) Summer is over.

I am thankful for both.

I'd say that it's pretty obvious why I would be thankful for an extra day off, but some of you may be wondering why I would be thankful that summer is over: "How, Chelsey, how can you say that!? Summer is great! Warmth, sunshine, green grass, holidays, what more could you want? It's the best time of the year!"

Okay, so maybe you wouldn't say it that way.

But my point is, I'm summered out.

Back in June, I was in definite need of a break. It had been a busy ten months. Last September I started my Early Childhood Education certificate, I was crazy busy with that for the whole semester, we came to Victoria in November for our interview and soon after that, we got prepared to move across the country. I completed a practicum in January and February and threw the actual moving across the country right in the middle of them. From then on I was getting adjusted to a new city, a new culture, new people, new jobs (a few of them). Getting to know my new brothers and sisters. Teen activities. On top of that: deciding to have my first child and going through the very tiresome first trimester. Spending a week in Regina. Working at West?! That would bring me to June.

Definitely time for a break.

Peter has been away all weekend and I spent my time recuperating from our two week Cross-Canada tour. At one point yesterday I really started to feel lonely. And all of the sudden I started having all of these crazy thoughts: feeling like I didn't really know anyone here and didn't really connect with anyone and I felt so alone and lost and in need of some good companionship. (read on for the "but"...)

But then it hit me.

None of those things were true (except the part of needing some good companionship).

I realized that the only reason I was feeling all of those untrue things was because I haven't seen a bunch of people since June! And if I've seen them, I haven't truly connected with them. And that's what I'm really missing, those deep, spiritual connections. Summer was great for a break, but I am feeling some major disconnection from my church family because of it.

I don't know about you, but September has always felt more like a beginning of a new year to me than January.

So welcome back from summer everyone, here's to the new year.

announcements

2006-09-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

Today my dear friend Brianne is getting married! At this time, every thing is set up and ready to go, hair is done, starting to get into the dress, guests are getting ready... but there's one thing missing... her twin!

Congratulations from Victoria Brianne & Arlen!

Introducing:

Remy Scott Rae

born to Kristen & Lindsay Rae

on August 30, 2006

7lbs. 11oz.

Suggestion...

2006-09-01T21:30:00.000-07:00

...next grid-blog topic: new alexisonfire album debuts at #1, knocking out Christina Aguilera. Ehhhh???

...

2006-09-01T17:32:00.000-07:00

All day I reflected on my blog below and I think that my question here isn't the fallibility of the bible, because I definitely whole-heartedly trust it and believe it, I guess my confusion is more around knowing what to take literally and what to write off (if anything).

Gridblog Ramblings Numero Uno

2006-09-01T07:39:00.000-07:00

So when I reviewed the topic on Tim's blog, I wasn't really sure I had anything to say about biblical authority and inspiration... especially since I read the list of John's creative titles as though they were actual topics we had to choose from. But then I started to think about it a little more and I re-read the information and I thought, I guess I could say something... and I guess it's kind of a long something.

(For those who are confused, there are a group of us writing blogs today on this week's topic of biblical authority and inspiration... called Gridblogging... it's the way of the future).

Anyway, I think that my previous post The Simple Life was on this topic a little bit, and I think it alludes to my confusion. It seems to me that the more that I journey through this life with God and the more that I learn, the more I realize that I don't know anything. It's a cliche to say that God is big, so maybe I'll just start by saying that I'm really small. I mean, really small.

It's tempting to believe what our society tells you... who wouldn't want to believe that you yourself are the most important, you have to make yourself happy first, make sure that you are content, make sure that you are comfortable and your needs are met, and then maybe you can think about others. I tend to think that I'm pretty important when I'm living life that way. The world revolves around me, I'm number one, my ideas are right, so on and so forth. Of course I'm not thinking that consciously, but if I really reflect, I know that in my heart those thoughts are there.

But in reality I'm just this tiny little blip on a huge planet with billions of other people and we're all doing so many different things... how do we know what is right? How do we know what to do?

It was when I was in college (hard to believe that I can say that) that I first heard discussion on the fallibility of the Bible. Introduction to Christian Theology was a tough class for me, being a follower for only 10 months (you mean there are three persons, but they are all God??). Anyway, I had to look up what the word fallible meant. Since then, I haven't really thought about it too much.

Reflecting now (and making my way back to my confusion) I can see that when I first started to believe, I read the New Testament (didn't get through the OT until this year) as a pretty straight-forward, black and white book. A lot of it was very comforting and I highlighted those parts; a lot of it was really frightening and I usually skipped over those parts.

Through discussion and reading, I then went on to learn that there is a lot of history behind the things that Jesus says and that certain phrases that he would say would have specific meaning to his audience and that Paul was writing actual letters on certain issues to specific churches. This made the book seem a lot more rich and a lot more real, but also a lot more confusing. So how do I know what applies to me? Should I cover my head as Paul says, should I sell all my posessions as Jesus tells one guy? Should I do this, do that, what should I do?... Oh yeah, grace through faith not works... BUT faith without works is dead... so is that a contradiction?... Who was Paul talking to, who was Jesus talking to, what context, what story behind that, is Jesus even being straightforward or is it just sarcasm to turn the Pharisees words on their heads... will I ever understand anything or do I already understand but just not want to admit it: is "Christian scholarship the Church's prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close?" (Kierkegaard)?

It's hard to know what to think when there are a lot of other people out there with some thoughts on the matter as well.

I'm living for God because he's revealed himself to me over and over, not because a book told me I should. I see the Bible as what you might call a history book, telling the story of Him and his people and I think that it reveals a lot about God's character, which is really good for me to know since I'm wanting to live for Him and all. Obviously I have some questions about some things, and I'm not sure how to read some other things, but I'm going to go on with my life believing in the infalliblity of God. When I have questions, I'm going to ask Him. When I want to know how I should act or what I should do, or what something means, I'm going to ask Him. I mean, he's God. He's the one who created this place right, and he's overseeing it, so he should know... after all "God is big"...

(but how do I know that He created the world and that he's overseeing it... didn't I get that from the Bible... and how much of that is falliable?)

Date Night in the Rockies

2006-08-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

... or Chasing the Sunset Through the Rockies

Take your pick.

Anyway, we're home. Safe. Sound. Exhausted.

The past two weeks have taken us clear across three and a half provinces and back. It was pretty sweet. Lots of family, a few friends, and of course... each other... SIGHHHH. That was a happy sigh. A cheesy sigh. Sigh.

I have to tell you though that you missed out on some great things.

- family of course
- discussion on how the moon must get so jealous of the sun sometimes and must get tired of the fact that it is reliant on the sun in order to shine. This discussion may or may not pave the way for a children's book titled "Arrogant Sun and the Jealous Moon". It will be very heart-warming.
- lots of Iced Cappucinos
- eating ice cream on a bench with my brother and his wife (expecting a baby one month before us) at Sylvan Lake
- Pluto losing its planet-hood. "Poor pluto". Well, they're not going to convince me. And is anyone else ticked that no one even asked you whether or not they could change THE UNIVERSE? This discussion may or may not pave the way for a children's book titled: "Pluto, the Planet That Was, But Then Wasn't, But Still Is and Will Always Be". Lots of life lessons to be learned.
- stopping at Lake Louise (my first time)
- naming our possible daughter (we already have a boy's name).

I'll give you a hint, it's after the "lost" planet.

Just kidding.

Or am I?

I really do feel bad for Pluto.

The Storm That Never Was

2006-08-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

Agressive clouds loomed over Estevan last night.
They threatened to storm but it was all talk.
This morning I woke to cool rain lifting the summer's heat off my back.
Spooky stares longingly out the window as the splattering of drops echoes around us.
The house is quiet as the earth drinks.

Last night, however, as the clouds hung ominously in the sky, quiet could not be found in the Jocelyn house.

Our night was filled with laughter and conversation. We love our friends and their kids :)

2006-08-22T11:50:00.000-07:00

Estevan

2006-08-22T08:37:00.000-07:00

To tell a little more about last week, there was a lot of hustling and bustling to get ready for Keri-Lyn & Alvaro's big day. It was a crazy kind of fun. Pete and I also got to spend lots of quality time with Joy, which was awesome. On Friday, 10-12 members of Alvaro's family arrived from Mexico and we had a huge "welcome luncheon" at Thunders. After that, a bunch of Alvaro's family went to the crossing to start preparing for the rehersal supper. They made us an awesome Mexican feast.

Of course the wedding day came and went way too quickly, and it's hard to believe that now it is another file in the old memory box, but it was a beautiful day. I had my first gig as a wedding photographer, and I think it went pretty well. I'm proud of the outcome anyway. The reception was hot, but the food was sooooooo good especially after running around snapping pictures all day. It was nice to sit and relax and enjoy everyone's company.

And before we knew it, Sunday was here and everyone was heading back to where they came from. We had lunch with a bunch of Peterson's at Kerry & LaVonne's and then suddenly, it was quiet, and it was only Peter, Joy and myself. So we went to the Dairy Dip for some sweet ice cream. I got a double double Boo Boo Bubble (also known as bubble gum ice cream) and it reminded me of when I was little and I would get ice cream with my grandpa at Mouse River Park.

Then Peter and I hit the road toward Regina to catch a bit of Brianne's wedding shower.

Late August is the best time to see the prairies, ribbons of late afternoon sun glowing over golden fields; the horizon, hazy like a faded memory. Weathered barns and farmhouses greet you every odd kilometer, their stories in waiting. The azure sky accented with bright white clouds that you could sleep in; they guide you toward the skyline, neverending.

There is so much more. Pete suggested we stop and take a picture, but sometimes you just need to enjoy moments instead of capturing them so we continued on our way. Of course that moment lasted for hours, the prairies are wide open spaces and this view lasted pretty much the whole drive. But it was so satisfying, I couldn't bring myself to stop.

I visited with my friends; laughed and talked about the baby. Then we made our way toward Estevan, the golden sky disappearing behind us. The deep black night was lit by a myriad of stars.

Fantastic.

We spent yesterday visiting with my mom and my grandma, and then we went out for supper when Randy got home. Stopped for ice cream and visited the new club house at the golf course. I've been spoiling my cat, and she's been enjoying it. Catching up on sleep missed from last week.

Western Canada Tour

2006-08-21T14:57:00.000-07:00

For more photos please see our photo page.

quick update

2006-08-21T08:27:00.000-07:00

We are now here in Estevan with Spooky, my mom and Randy. The wedding was amazing, the day was beautiful and it was great to see so much family. We popped into Brianne's wedding shower in Regina last night and had a quick visit with some of my favourite people. We arrived in Estevan at about 11, exhausted and giddy from the lack of sleep and so much time spent in the car. Luckily my mom was giddy from excitement, so we had a good chat until bed. Spooky has been as cuddly as ever, and she seemed to remember us. As promised, pictures and a bigger update later, I'm off to spend time with my mom.

We're Safe

2006-08-16T10:13:00.000-07:00

We left on Sunday at about 12 o'clock, racing down Highway 17 to try and catch the 1 o'clock ferry. We made it and enjoyed the massage chairs along the way. We hit the open highway and by 8:30 we were at Salmon Arm just in time for me to hop in the van with Grandma Roberts, Tasha, Auntie Susan, Tara, Auntie Penny and meet up with Auntie Cindi and Sarah at Boston Pizza for Roberts' Ladies Night. A good time had by all. After that we came back and Peter and I visited with Grandma and Grandpa until around midnight and then we hit the hay.

Monday morning, up at 5:30AM. For the first time in my life I was at McDonald's for breakfast before it even opened. Saw lots of amazing photo opportunities along the way, but didn't want to make too many stops. The mountains were still towering over us, displaying God's glory as usual. Ate in Taco Bell for the first time in Calgary. Not the best meal ever. I drove from Strathmore to Medicine Hat, the home of Kalan Porter. We stopped at Wal-Mart for windshield washer fluid (the bugs are amazing out here!) and of course to look at gun cases. Back on the road, almost ran out of gas but thankfully the town of Caronport came up a bit sooner than we expected. Enjoyed the Saskatchewan flatlands and the sunset and hit the road again. Arrived at Blair & Melissa's at 9:15 PM, played with Makena, Hudson and Lily. Lily slept with me the whole night, Hudson slept with Peter for most of it.

The next morning Pete and Blair went golfing, I slept until 7:30 and met them at Stan's Roadhouse before taking off for Brandon. Our butts were starting to get sore by this point. Finally arrived in Brandon and got to do a puzzle with our neice Kiara and hold our newest nephew, Kori. And of course visit with Mark and Melissa. Ate a delicious pizza pop (seriously it was good, I haven't had one in years) and a special cupcake that Kiara made for especially for us. Hit the road again, drove through the park and didn't see any wildlife. Arrived in Dauphin and ate a fabulous ham and scalloped potatoe supper. Yummmmmmmmmmm. Went to Tim Horton's with Mom & Dad Roberts, came home and visited, looked at pictures, Pete and Mom R sang and played piano together.

This morning, the boys get up early to go golfing at Clear Lake. LaVonne and I grocery shop for punch for the wedding and scout out photo locations. Lots of stuff to do today, later on tonight we're going to Moon Lake for a smokie cookout.

Pictures will come later, right now I'm lucky that our wireless is picking up signal from the neighbours :)

The Simple Life

2006-08-12T11:34:00.000-07:00

"Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul? He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God."

Micah 6:7-8

This passage makes it seem really simple. How is it, then, that I continually find myself confused with what God wants us to do? One week I will feel passionately about it; I feel as though I understand what he's saying and I feel driven to live as though I believe it. The next week I find myself apathetic, confused, unsure... is it spiritual immaturity or human nature?

Is Kierkegaard right when he says:

"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand, we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself accordingly."?

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind."

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

Jesus says if we do these things then we will live. Seems pretty simple to me. How do I keep confusing it?

"My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. How would I ever get on in the world?... Dreadful is it to fall into the hands of the living God." (Kierkegaard)

I don't have any answers, and my questions may also be weak, but this is something I've been turning around in my heart for the last month. Maybe the reality is that I've been turning them around in my head instead of following what God has written on my heart.

Ageless Beauty

2006-08-11T19:15:00.000-07:00

Frustrations of the week:

1) So a few years ago, Peter, Blair & I used to pretend not to watch e-Talk daily. But really we did. It came on right after Who's Line Is It Anyway. We always hated it, but continued to watch anyway. One of those guilty pleasure things I think. So, right now I'm pretending that I didn't just watch e-Talk daily and I didn't just see them talking about bands like Stars, Broken Social Scene, Tegan and Sara, and dare I say, Death Cab for Cutie. I mean, is nothing sacred anymore? I don't want to come across as one of those music snobs who always says "I liked their old stuff better" or who is always trying to prove how much they know about music, but seriously, love for Death Cab began in 11th grade and now to see that they get a few "mentions" on the OC and suddenly have instant fame. Some cool TV show tells the masses what is cool and suddenly something you love is exploited and torn from you. Dramatic maybe, but I don't like liking things that somebody "cool" on TV tells me to like. It makes me feel like a lemming. So what do you do when something that you loved before somebody on TV told everyone it was cool and exploited the snozzberry out of it? I guess you write a blog about it and feel grateful that these things don't really matter anyway.

2) I read once that there is a special kind of irritation to having your name spelled incorrectly. So to all of those who think they know how to spell my name, but clearly don't, it's spelled as such:
C-H-E-L-S-E-Y.

There is not a single "A" in my first name. Remember it.

Non-Frustrations of the Week:

1) Hanging out with my daycare kids. Man, they are sweet. They love the baby, they love my flannel stories, and they love my sweet songs. Maybe I should introduce them to Death Cab.

2) New camera.

3) Best husband ... EVER.

4) Ultrasound yesterday. The babe gave us thumbs up. Pretty sweet.

5) Today was my last day of work before leaving to see a ton of family.

6) Pete didn't practice elk calling too much.

7) Hung out with James Davies. Those other people that were there were pretty sweet too.

8) Yesterday I went to a brilliant used bookstore and hung out with James, Josh and Peter. Good moments driving in the afternoon sun singing along to an unnamed band (that was named a couple of times above).

9) Internet is working right now, I am able to post this blog.

So I went into greater detail with the frustrations. But there are way more non-frustrations. You don't really need the details to appreciate them.

Baby Chronicles

2006-08-07T09:11:00.000-07:00

It might have been all the sugar that I had, but the baby was the most active yesterday to date. It bounced around in there all day long, especially when we went to the movie (I guess it likes Will Ferrell flicks). When we got home the baby was kicking so strongly that Peter was able to feel it for the first time.

I love it when you are so happy that you can't help but laugh. Last night was one of those moments. Just laying there, feeling my little baby kick and punch me all night long made me smile, made me laugh, kept me from being able to sleep.

July photo blog

2006-08-05T11:04:00.000-07:00

Nickie & I at the top of Mt. Tolmie

Kori & Lisa Jones with us at the top of Mt. Doug

Our twin fawns.

LaFawnduh

Me + Baby @ 15 weeks

Me + Baby @ 17 weeks

update

2006-08-01T17:27:00.000-07:00

Okay so now even Blair is blogging more than me. I never would've thought that could be possible. The only real reason for my lack of blogs is that I'm thinking too much (and not writing) and our internet sporadically will disconnect and we'll be too lazy to fix it for a few days.

So perhaps some of you would like an update.

It's not hot here anymore. It's actually kind of chilly. Yesterday and today I wore a sweater. I love sweaters though and I'll still wear one at 17 degrees. So maybe that doesn't say much, but the heat is gone that's for sure.

We're leaving in a little under two weeks to come to the Prairies to see the families. Loooooooookinggggg forward to it.

Today I turned 18 weeks pregnant. I felt the baby move for the first time on Saturday night. I was a little unsure if it really was the baby but then last night I felt it for sure. I had a doctor's appointment today and our baby has one strong heart that's for sure. It was so loud today. Sounds like it's working pretty well. Our next ultrasound is next week.

Hmmm what else do you want to know about? I don't think my thoughts on The Irresistable Revolution are going to formulate into a blog any time soon but maybe I'll post some of Ronald Sider's thoughts from his book "Rich Christians in an Age of Hunger". His sentences are better than mine anyway.

It's 100 degrees out and you've got a sweater on...

2006-07-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

Whatever happened to 'The Promise Ring'? Haven't heard much from them since Wood/Water... maybe that's a good thing. Anyway I got to thinking of them because it's so hot that one of their lyrics popped into my head (see title).

So it's 33 degrees C and with the humidity its 37. Apparently that's 91 degrees F. That's almost a hundred degrees (and I'm glad that I haven't seen anyone wearing sweaters). Yowzah. It's the hottest day of the year here. Not a good day to forget your water bottle (which I did).

I also forgot to write about the earthquake that happened a few weeks ago. I guess I'm just so 'island' now that these things aren't worth mentioning. A few weeks ago I experienced my first earthquake. I was sitting on the couch at work (how often does that happen) and I felt the whole building get lifted up, moved over and then put right back down again. So I asked my boss, "is there a train nearby?" because that's the only thing in Saskatchewan that rattles buildings. It was a 3.7 on the Richter scale. Here is the report if you want more details.

Can't wait til "the big one", hey mom? Pfft... I'm too island to care.

Je suis en pizza!

2006-07-20T17:56:00.000-07:00

Greetings fellow earthlings. Or are we? Stupidity aside, I come to bring you an update.

Baby Roberts' new expected date of arrival is January 3, 2007. Originally, when I myself calculated the due date, I said January 1, so I really wasn't too far off. I knew that all that December 11 business was out to lunch. So now Baby R is exactly one month behind its cousin on the Fowler side, as my brother Michael and his wife Kim expect their first baby on December 3, 2006.

Pete's been at teen camp since Sunday and now I'm just eating some disgusting hamburger helper in front of the computer and a Spongebob Squarepants episode, with a tall glass of chocolate milk. Expectant mother? Early Childhood Educator? I am a child at heart.

Also you should know that I'm reading a fabulously gracious, non-judgmental, cynicism-lacking book called The Irresistable Revolution by Shane Claiborne and I have many things bumping around in my head and my heart that I'm sure will formulate themselves into a blog sooner or later (and into ACTION). He may not be Kierkegaard, but its still deserving of your time (sigh, why do people put jokes on their sites when probably only one person will even understand it?)

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnyway.

Less talking, more eating as we say at lunch time in the early childhood centre.

mono-logue... or is it dia-?

2006-07-16T17:51:00.000-07:00

my God is love.

i’m a girl born with a heart of tar, working to better my inner-self so that i can better the world with my outward-contribution. i try to love, but sometimes i find myself hating. i’m striving for virtue, sometimes i find myself in a lack of agreement with God. i’ve been born and i’ve died. i want to live my life giving to others without expecting anything in return but it’s hard when you’re so selfish. i want unity with God, unity with believers, but sometimes i separate myself from both of them. i’ve been transformed and i want to help change the world but sometimes i just don’t care. i have a purpose, a mission, yet sometimes i forget. you might find me deeply spiritual, but you might find me deeply worldly. sometimes in harmony, sometimes not. sometimes believing, sometimes not.

and so it goes.

love/hate. strife/discord. birth/death. altruism/selfishness. unity/separation. transformation/apathy. purpose/forgetfulness. spiritual/worldly. accord/inconsistency. belief/disbelief.

i have a hard time being the person that i want to be.

but i’m trying.

if i’ve been reminded of one thing lately it is how sinful i am.

awareness of how sinful i am reminds me of how little i know and how much i need God. how much we all need Him. how we can’t do anything without Him. how grateful i am that even though i forget i’m a sinner, God knows and loves me. he knows the desires in my heart and he keeps teaching me.

i want to be everything for him, but he says his grace is good enough. he’s set me free from all that i can’t yet be. but i’m on my way, i promise. every day i’m going to keep going. one day at a time.

my God is love. my God is love.

2006-07-16T15:31:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Brent & Elise Hoeppner:

Levi Cameron

July 15, 2006

7 lbs. 5.5 oz.

Roberts Baby Numero Uno

2006-07-14T17:35:00.000-07:00

We had our 18-week scan this morning. It was a little surreal to say the least. It's pretty strange to see this little human being that is cocooned inside of you, especially when you haven't felt it move yet. So... it's really there. The sonographer figured I was actually 15 or 16 weeks along, not 18 (which is what I guessed in the first place!), so I will have to have another scan in a couple of weeks. Nothing to complain about there... other than having to guzzle a litre of water in fifteen minutes. Definitely worth it. The little being waved to us and wiggled around and we got to see excellent shots of its little feet crossed and it's spine and ribs and hands. So cute.

I know that some people find these things hard to decipher so I tried to explain it as best as I could, but I know that sometimes they are those hidden image thing-a-ma-jigs that you have to stare at forever and let your eyes go out of focus before you can see what it really is.

Head on the left, body, the white line up by the head is a little praying arm.

2006-07-13T17:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I met a little puppy named Cheebo.

Today a lady bug hitched a ride from work to my house on my windshield.

Tomorrow I have my first ultrasound.

Saturday Kori & Lisa Jones are coming to stay with us.

Sunday Peter leaves again (he gets home tonight).

The End.

the love languages

2006-07-10T17:41:00.000-07:00

So Pete's gone to camp and I've been totally bachin' (for all of you who are not down with the lingo [up to date on the language] that's short for bacheloretting) it up, ordering pizza every night, letting the dishes piled up, using a different cup every time that I need a drink...

Okay, he only left yesterday, but I did buy a frozen pizza, and there are a pile of dishes that were there before he left, and I used a different cup today than yesterday but that's not really beyond normal.

It has been wierd though since he left, I have to admit.

I've known that since we got married I've entered into some kind of parallel universe of matrimony, where I suddenly understood certain things that I never would've before marriage, for example, Red Green made a joke that "Love is blind... marriage is an eye-opener" and I found myself laughing and nodding, sticking my elbow into Peter's ribs saying "Ehhhh? Ehhh?!". That's really when it hit me. Woah. I'm grown-up. I laugh at married jokes. I laugh and nod and elbow people saying "Ehhh".

The other night Peter and I watched the video of our wedding and it's totally crazy that at 20 years old I commited myself in front of 200 people to one single person for the rest of my life! I mean that's a possible 80 more years that I dedicated to someone at the mere age of 20. I didn't know much at 20, but I'm definitely glad that I had the brains to make the decision to marry Peter. I know, total cheese fest, and if you find yourself gagging now then this is probably one of those married things that you won't understand until you've entered the "other" universe.

He definitely is my other half, and I'm feeling a bit lost and out of sorts without him being around to annoy me all the time with his need to constantly make noise... and I have to admit it was strange to fall asleep to silence last night instead of Peter talking me to sleep by going on and on and on about some big idea he has. (I wouldn't write these things if they weren't already a running joke between the two of us.)

I know it's only a couple of weeks and he'll be home on the weekend anyway, so I'm going to enjoy this short bit of time that I have to myself. I just can't help but feel a twinge of disorientation every now and then.

So if you want to hang out with me in person or via telephone in the next couple of weeks, definitely, fo sho, fa shizzle, let's order some pizza and dirty all the dishes and drink from different cups. It'll be great.

Ponder this...

2006-07-08T09:46:00.000-07:00

"Don't ever let anybody tell you they're better than you, Forrest. If God intended everybody to be the same, he'd have given us all braces on our legs." - Mrs. Gump

My friend, the closed book.

2006-07-07T16:26:00.000-07:00

Kamara, if you love Comeback Kid so much why don't you become one yourself and write a stinkin blog?

Because we all love you but I love you most.

A personal email would be even better.

This one's for you:

Kamara,
like Camaro, but not quite.
So witty, so bright,
reading allllll night.

She loves to read, you know.

Harvey is the name of her dog
he's a gentleman--
now please, pretty please, Kamara,
write a new blog!

Another Notable Pic...

2006-07-06T20:52:00.000-07:00

Another indescribable creation of James R. Davies. I actually don't know his middle name. This picture says so much. So much. (By the way, Marnie's a vegetarian. She does not and will not love pork.)

West no more.

2006-07-06T17:38:00.000-07:00

I started my new job this past Tuesday and it's been a whirlwind of learning 40 names of kids ages 2.5 to 6 years old, learning new rules, new routines, new people, new parents, new songs, new toys, new ways of "saying Grace"... But it has been so good. I walked out of work today with that feeling: yessssssssssss. I am fulfilled with what I do for a living. I feel good about it and it makes a difference in the world. Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. Double fist pump.

sometimes i hate making titles

2006-07-03T15:11:00.000-07:00

What a weekend. I'm exhausted.

We spent a lot of time with Grandma and Grandpa Roberts, Uncle Scott & Auntie Cindi, Uncle Kirk and Auntie Vivian and the cousins (too many to name). It was great. The Aunties helped me to sew my first two receiving blankets, which was my first sewing project EVER. And the ladies all had a great time at Fabricland, helping me pick out fabrics for the nursery bedding. I'll be a sew-er extraordinaire before long.

Today I was able to sleep in for a bit and then my Nickie called me and we spent an hour trying to find somewhere to go for lunch. Actually most of that time was just spent trying to find somewhere to park. We ended up going to (boring) Boston Pizza, but it was okay because the parking was F R E E.

A picture from Elise's baby shower on June 8 (almost a month ago).

Left to Right: Chelsey, Kelly, Cherie, Elise, Tami, Rachel, Lindsey.

Family Ties & Growing Pains

2006-06-29T21:56:00.000-07:00

So, I know that blogs have been few and far between... our internet at home is "sensitive" and works when it wants to :) But now I'm at Kirk & Vivian's and I managed to leg-wrestle one of their kids into giving me some computer time.

On Tuesday I begin my new job as a full-time Early Childhood Educator. The dream has been realized. It was completely a God-directed thing, and I'm still amazed at how it all came about. In a nutshell, last Friday I basically was able to choose between two amazing caregiving positions. I'm really thankful and excited about the next 5 months of work... never really thought that I would say that.

And it's strange to think that the baby will be here in five months. Right now I'm 16 weeks along. I'm almost half way. It seemed like I'd never make it past 12 weeks, and suddenly I find myself being 4 months pregnant. I had my check-up yesterday and all is well, heart beating at 156 beats per minute. We videotaped it but it wasn't as audible as last time. All is well and the baby is growing. Our ultrasound is in two weeks. Pictures to follow.

Grandma and Grandpa Roberts and Scott and Cindi are here for the weekend and my wonderful friend Nickie is arriving with her family tomorrow.

As rent day approaches, Peter and I realize that we have now been in Victoria for 6 months... how did that happen!? It's pretty unbelievable that half a year has already flown by. And my how our lives have changed in those whirlwind 6 months.

Anyway, I'm gonna go hang out with the family.

Yo, Check It

2006-06-26T21:59:00.000-07:00

One of my bestest of best friends, Kelli, has started a blog to chronicle her journey from here to Africa. She will be heading to Nairobi, Kenya this autumn to serve God in an orphanage. Please praypraypray for this amazing girl as she prepares for her trip.

The Colbert Report

2006-06-22T11:15:00.000-07:00

So...

#1. The Oilers came in second. Second. It sounds better than saying they lost. Second is pretty good in my books. It's only one away from first. Way to go Oilers! I find that hockey fans tend to take an all-or-nothing-attitude. When the Oilers lost the first two games of the series how many people lost hope? How many people wrote them off and gave up? But they took it all the way to Game 7. And now: "they lost". But really, they came in second. And they played (pretty) great. I mean they had to have played pretty great in order to make it to game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals. Annnnyway, I'm not the hugest hockey fan in the world so I'm gonna stop talking about it right away here, but I just think that we should end this season on a positive note... mostly because I know there are a lot of "broken-hearted" fans out there.

#2. I quit my job. I handed out 800 hundred resumes to 800 different childcare centres and I've been doing a little bit of subbing and have myself booked for dates in the summer. To be honest, I think it's one of the best moves that I ever could've made. Now I'm getting my name out there and getting my foot in the door for when I am able to work full-time. Some positions are even opening up for permanent-part-time work and also another temporary position. The best part about it all is that every day I just have to trust in God and completely and faithfully rely on Him to provide the work for me, to provide for me. It's been a really cool experience.

#3. I just ate a dried mango and it was delicious.

That is all I have to report.

Yes I know this had nothing to do with Stephen Colbert. The title was more to attact the attention of Blair. Hey Blair, how about a phone call? Miss you buddy.